ALL ROADS LEAD TO THE OSKARZ

Golden Globe? Please. Grammy? For your grandma. Oscar? So white. This year, awards season culminates with the most prestigious show of all—the sixth annual Oskarz.biz Awards, honoring all the stuff those other shows ignored. Cast your vote for this year's winners below, then put on your top hats and tune in to the March 4 edition of the RELEVANT Podcast.

Oskarz.biz season is in full swing. 


2016 NOMINEES

CATEGORY #1

Best Jimmy Fallon Musical Moment

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #2

The “Son Screen Prevents Sin Burn Award” for Worst Church Sign Pun

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #3

The “Please Clap” Award for Most Unintentionally Hilarious Moment the Presidential Election

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #4

“That’s Not How Any of this Works” Award for Best Old Person Confused by Something on Facebook

#1 From “Maxine” (posted as her status): “Hello Benjamin, John, Connie, Sandy, and the rest. I have no comment at this time.” (source)

#2 From Nancy (on the wall of Red Lobster): “Please get out of my Facebook account. I do not want you posting on my wall” (source)

#3 Josh (to the corporate page of Wal-Mart) “Did Jasper quit greeting at the Raleigh walmart or is he with the lord now?” (source)

 

 

 

#4 From Randy (on the wall of Texas Roadhouse): Tell Daniel His Father Loves Him (source)

 

 

 

#5 Charles (on the Wall of Kmart): Carol’s cat died yesterday. (source)

 
PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #5

The “Dope Pope” Award for Best of Rhyme from #PopeBars

#1: "First things first, give God the glory, He's the one and only Father no need for Maury." (source)

#2: "I murder these bars like Cain did to Abel. Better call me Charlie cause I'm surrounded by angels” (source)

#3: "Battle skills got the Papal seal. You know the deal, I keeps it real no ceilings on the popemobile" (source

#4: "God had a mixtape he named it the Bible, Jesus had a rap crew called it the disciples" (source)

#5: "Coldest rapper to ever call Rome my home/ Rhymes so real Moses could set em in stone" (source)

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #6

The “You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me Award” for People Who Thought “Onion” Headlines Were Real

#1: 

Headline: “This Dad Loved His Children So Much He Got Eye Enlargement Surgery So He Could Look At Them More”  

Comment: This man and the Doc are idiots … God provide the right size eyes. He could of lost his vision and then what? Fools!

(source)

 

#2

Headline: “42 Million Dead In Bloodiest Black Friday Weekend On Record”

Comment: “If the marxist left see this every Friday will be black Friday so they can control they population

(source)

 

#3

Headline: “This Nonprofit Took The World’s Last Northern White Rhino On An Unforgettable Trip To Six Flags:

Comment: So stupid that’s a ridiculous manta of money to bring a rhino to a theme park. Definitely not in the rhinos best interest. Very Sad.

(source)

 

#4

Headline: “Dick Van Dyke Finally Confesses to the Zodiac Killings”

Comment: “Called It”

(source)

 

#5

Headline: “Terrified Johnny Depp Unable to Remove Tonto Makeup”  

Comment: “This is not good. He is also one of my favorite actors.”

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #7

The “Swag Master” Award for Best Tweet - The Donald Trump/Kanye West Edition

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

"CAT"EGORY #8

Theologian Names that Would Work Great As Cat Names

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #9

The Best Super Expensive Church Worship Service Accessory

#1: Shimmering Praise Flag

 

#2: An Old, Gray Overhead Projector

 

 

#3: A Flesh-Colored Wireless Mic Worn on the Face

 

#4: Shofar

 

#5: A Huge Glass Drum Cage

PICK YOUR FAVORITE

CATEGORY #10

Best (Only Semi-Ironic) Christian Parody Music Video

PICK YOUR FAVORITE